Thursday, October 1, 2009

topic sentence meganl

The princess values chance because when she moved her right arm it could have meant her right or the young mans right arm.

edited: The princess values trust because she knows that the prince will choose the right door and he trusts her to guide him there.

I learned that I should have made a better point the first time I wrote this sentence.

3 comments:

  1. it could have gone either way but good point. add one more thing the princess values.

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  2. I obvious that the princess meant her right, try and change it around a little

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  3. try to give a bit of background knowledge because if you just say that the reader will be like what are they talking about except for something about a princess

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