Thursday, October 1, 2009

The lady or the tiger topic sentance

The princess values trust the most because she knew that her lover would trust her to guide him to the correct door.


Revised; The slightly barbaric princess values trust the most because she knew that her condemned loved would trust her to guide him to the better of the two fates.


I learned that i should not just summarize the story, but i should also tell my thoughts about it so it can be more detailed. I also need to have a very interesting opening line to pull readers into my story.

3 comments:

  1. That's good topic sentence, but try and add maybe one more value of the princess.

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  2. This is good but try to make it more exciting.

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  3. try to get a better attention getter and add to it

    ReplyDelete