Thursday, October 1, 2009

AJ's topic sentence

In the story The Lady and the tiger, a princess makes a choice between life or love; her love was more important because she could not stand not being with her love.


Revised: In the story The Lady and tiger a semi-barbaric princess has to make the decision between a live and her personal love; her love was more important to her, she couldn't stand being separated from her love.

What I learned: I learned that I needed to clarify a bit more than what I had originally. I also have to put a few more small words in my sentences like: a, and, to, or but.

3 comments:

  1. why would she be his lover and not stand him

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  2. I agree with you completely but what makes her not stand to be away from her love?

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  3. ya true that. but that last part didnt make sense... whatev.

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