Thursday, October 1, 2009

Brittany J. "Lady or the Tiger" topic sentance

The princess values love, because she was afraid to lose her love and she showed it out of jealousy for the lady behind the door.


Revised: In the story the " Lady or the Tiger", the princess most values love. The princess was afraid to lose her love to the beautiful lady behind the door. In her state of jealousy the princess might have thought of leading him to the door with the tiger, but her love over comes her jealousy as she leads him to the door with the lady.


Revised in final:
In her state of jealousy the princess might have had thought of leading him to the door with the tiger, but her love over comes her jealousy as she leads him to the door with the lady.


What did you learn? I learned that when sometimes when you spend more time thinking about how to write, you come up with more interesting and fluent ways to come about the topic your writing about. I also learned that it helps when you have more than one person who proofreads your writing and gives you comments about it, because it can help you think of the new and creative ways you could come about answering the question. I've learned that when people give you there own opinions about how you can write, they all come together and help you a lot in the long run = )

2 comments:

  1. Please clarify but it is well thought of. Good sentence. Love the color.

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  2. Wait what are you trying to say, i am confused. Did the tiger come out or the lady? Love the color

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